Shego Decides to Die
by Mozart Mraz
Summary: Shego decides to die. And a few more things happen too. Kigo
1. Suicide Hotline

Hello, friends. This story is probably going to suck, but after reading a lot of Kigo, I've decided to make a fanfic of my own.

None of this is mine. I don't own Kim Possible, and the story is loosely based on Veronika Decides to Die, because I'm an unoriginal bastard.

* * *

Shego, the comet powered, world famous thief extraordinaire, opened the container of pills she took from the pharmacy she robbed earlier that day.

"Well, this is it", she thought as she swallowed her poison.

Finally, it's all going to be over. No more Dr. D, no more stealing, no more annoying brothers, and most importantly, no more being so lonely and unwanted. After the comet incident, it seemed like the green woman's friends just dropped her and pretended she didn't exist. Nowadays, the closest thing to a friend she's got was a certain incompetent blue dumbass that knew nothing about her.

The thief had tried numerous times to make friends with the henchmen, the Seniors, and even Monkey Fist (though he was disgusting and hairy). But whenever it seemed like she made a friend, they never really wanted to be her friend just for the hell of it, they always wanted something else like money, not getting killed or help in stealing something. All that the sad girl knew was that her life sucked, there was no way to fix it, and that every second of her life felt like torture.

And now, she is finally ending it, Hallelujah! But the huge overdose is taking some time,_ it must be those comet powers_ she thought. Now she was faced with what to do with the little time she had left, and frankly, she was really really bored. So she did what she normally did in her spare time, she took out a nail-file. It wasn't actually a practical activity because she never really filed her nails, only her gloves. It had no effect on anything, but she did it anyway to pass the time while Dr Drakken was ranting on about his latest plans.

"AGH! I'm still bored!" Shego cried out in frustration, so she decided to do something that actually had meaning. Namely, crank calls.

The suicidal thief picked up the phone and dialed the suicide hotline.

"Suicide hotline, how may I help you?", the man on the other line said.

"Yeah, I'm really bored and could use some entertainment", the green caller said.

"Ma'am, this is a _suicide hotline_, which means we help the _suicidal_, and we're not here for your amusement", the worker replied.

"But I **AM** killing myself!", she whined

"What? What do you mean you're _killing yourself?_", the reply was.

"I mean exactly what I said. I took a shitload of pills, and I'm gonna die, and it's taking kinda long, and now I am bored to tears! So like tell me a joke or something!", Shego replied with that world famous smirk on her face.

"Uhm, okay, what is your address?", the panicked suicide counsellor said

"What kind of joke is that?! It's not even ffuuuuughh...", the suicide victim said as she fell to the ground.

Her world slowly grew darker, her breaths became shallow and slow, and an overwhelming sense of peace overcame her.

_Goodbye motherfuckers_ was all she could think of before she finally passed out.


	2. Soulja Boy, Spice Girls, and Shego

* * *

I think I had a little too many ideas for this chapter. It's really happy funny now, but it gets a lot sadder in the later ones if everything goes as planned. Review as harshly as you can, I seriously am just a n00b writer that reads a lot. So, yeah, tell me anything I can improve on. Or even just leave a review to say hi.

I don't own Kim Possible, Pokemon, Soulja Boy, or the Spice Girls. Although I wish I did... sigh

* * *

It was an intense battle. Ash's Pikachu was kicking all her pokemon's asses, Kim only had one pokemon left and she hoped that it would finally defeat Ash.

"David Blaine! I choose you!", Kim shouted as she threw the pokeball to the ground, and David Blaine, master magician, came out of it.

"Da-Da-David Blaine!", the pokemon said as he moved into his stance.

"Soulja attack! NOW!", The trainer ordered her pokemon.

David moved into a different stance and started chanting and dancing.

"Soulja Boy up in it OHH, watch me crank dat watch me roll, watch me crank dat Soulja Boy that Superman dat OHH!!"

* * *

Beep-beep-be-beep

_...youuuu..._

Beep-beep-be-beep

_...now watch me...Ughhh whaat?_

Beep-beep-be-beep

_...kimmunicator...mission..._

click

"uughh...go Wade...", a certain teen hero mumbled as she woke up from her dream, still in her bed clutching her pandaroo.

_I'm never eating nacos before bed ever again_ Kim contemplated.

Kim should be used to more missions this late considering all the time zones she saves, but she rarely gets any missions at this time.

"Kim, sorry to wake you, but you will never believe this", Wade replied.

_Does he ever sleep?_ Kim thought.

"So, what's the sitch?", she said.

"Shego just arrived in Middleton Hospital, Apparently, she overdosed on sleeping pills", the computer genius said as he took a sip from what appeared to be coffee.

"What? What kind of villain would poison his enemies with sleeping pills? I mean it's like... oh damn... No way! She didn't! but I thought sh- B-bu-but...", the stuttering hero would've rambled on and on if her webmaster hadn't interrupted her.

"Yeah, Kim. It looks like she did try to kill herself, do you need a ride to the hospital?", He asked.

"No thanks, I think I'll go with my mom", Kim replied. Her mother worked there after all.

"No can do Kim, your mom's already there, she's the one treating Shego, don't worry though, Shego's still unconscious", Wade assured her.

"What? Erm... okay, give me time to dress up", Kim said, realizing that her hand was already on her front door's knob.

"And call Ron, it might be a trap", the redhead said

"Shall I use a really loud ringtone?", Wade said with a smirk

"Please and thank you", Kim replied, also with a smirk.

* * *

_At the Stoppable residence..._**  
_  
Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want!  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want!_**

_...mmm...Spice Girls..._  
_**  
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want!  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want!**_

_...wait...hold on..._  
_**  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really** **really really wanna zigazig ha!**_  
_  
...Spice girls in my house?  
_  
And with that, Ron fell out of bed and answered his kimmunicator.

* * *

_  
15 minutes ago..._

"Hurry up people let's get her in", Anne said as the paramedics took the patient from the ambulance and carefully put her on the stretcher.

"What's her status?", a redhead doctor said to one of the paramedics as they wheeled her to the ER.

"Overdosed on sleeping pills, it looks like a suicide attempt the way he described it", the paramedic said as he pointed to the blue man walking beside them.

"I honestly don't know why she would do it", the blue witness said. He looked vaguely familiar.

"Hey, aren't you... D-d-d-DRAKKEN!!", Anne screamed in shock

"You're the one constantly trying to hurt my daughter!", the protective mother said as she slowly walked over to where he was standing.

"EEP! Don't hurt me! I'm only trying to take over the world! I have no intention of hurting that Kim Possible!", _except when she interferes in my plans! Grr... that Possible, she thinks she's all that but she's n-_

"So, the patient must be the one with the plasma", the doctor said to the blue man.

"Yes, it is Shego, my theory is that she thought that the dosage was in grams, and not milligrams because the 'm' might've been wiped off the bottle, because it doesn't seem like she had any reason to blah blah blah..."

Anne paid no attention to Drakken as she examined her patient more. Upon closer inspection, it seemed like the normally green thief's skin has become a lot paler than usual.  
_  
Hmm, I've had my share of weird cases but this one takes the cake._

She indeed did have a lot of unusual cases, one even including a man that had a spoon stuck in his large intestine. _How did that even get there? _Anne wondered. But none of them involved one of her daughters enemies, so she was faced with a deep philosophical question of whether or not she should revive Shego, but that took time to answer, and she didn't have any of that.

"Doctor, shall we use the defribrillator?", the nurse asked.

Anne was shaken from her thoughts as the nurse's comment focused her mind onto the situation at hand.

"Did you try CPR on her?", Anne asked the paramedics.

"Yes we did", _with pleasure _he mentally added.

"Okay, people, get the defribrillator online!"

The nurses turned the life-saving machine on and started charging it.

"Okay, now, somebody take her jumpsuit off!", The doctor ordered.

The nurses unzipped and peeled the piece of clothing off of their green patient.

_Huh, how about that, no underwear._

One of the nurses handed the apparatus to the red headed doctor as it started whining.

The doctor carefully looked for the correct placement of the handles, and after she correctly located them, she yelled out...

"**CLEAR!!**", as she used the defribillator on her green patient.

The patient shook violently after recieving the shock but no signs of life yet.

"Okay, one more time, **CLEAR!!**". Again, Anne delivered a shock to Shego's system.

She shook again.

"Doctor, patient shows no vital signs yet, I think we lost her", one of the nurses told Anne.

"One last try, if this doesn't work she's gone", Anne replied.

"**CLEAR!!**", She said for the third time.

"Still flatline.. dammit, we lost her", the good doctor surrendered.

"Let's get her out of here people", Dammit...

Beep

"Hey what was that?" A nurse asked.

* * *

Beep  
_  
Aggh... Am I in heaven?_

Beep

_Shego heard faint voices laughing, and rejoicing about something_

Beep

_Oh... God... no... _She thought as she heard the voices grow louder.

She tried to move, but she couldn't feel any of her limbs

Beep

_Let's try to see just what's going on _she thought as she opened her eyes just enough, to see a white room, full of doctors and nurses looking very relieved.

Beep

_Fuck...I'm in hell..._

Beep

She then blacked out again

* * *

Kim Possible burst through the doors of the hospital into the lobby, where she asked her mother to wait for her.

"Mom!", Kim called out as she ran to hug the older woman

"Kimmie-cub!", Anne said as she returned the hug to her daughter

Kim then looked up and asked, "How is Shego?"

"We saved her, but she's still sleeping. We would expect her to be unconscious for at least few days if she were just a normal human, but as she does have those superpowers and superhealing, maybe a few hours.", Anne informed Kim.

"Thanks mom! Can I see her?", Kim said.

"Sure dear, shes in room 703", her mother replied.

Kim then walked to the elevator, pressed seven, and waited for what seemed like hours for her floor to come.


	3. At the Hospital

Author's note : part 3 yaaaay. Please review this, the more you review, the less I suck

* * *

Kim pressed 7, prompting the elevator to go to the 7th floor where Shego was currently staying. Common sense would say that she was most probably asleep, or at least frequently drifting in and out of consciousness. But then again, you never know with comet powers.

She also was more anxious about Shego's condition than she should be, which weirded her out a little. It must be that sall that time spent with Shego, fighting almost every week.

_Weiiiird..._ Kim thought to herself, but her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar ring tone.

Beep-beep-be-beep

Kim answered her kimmunicator.

"Hey Wade, wha-- Dr. Director?" Kim stammered as the face of GJ's leader appeared on the screen.

"Hello Kim, we have recieved information that Shego is currently recovering in the hospital you are in now. Is that correct?"

"Yes, I was just about to go see her." Kim said, her mind still a little off-balance from seeing Dr. Director on her screen.

"Then if it's not too much to ask, would it be okay if you keep an eye on her until GJ arrives?"

"That depends, how long will you guys take?"

"Around 10 minutes, I apologize for being a bit slow right now, we just got this information, intel ran out of coffee", Dr. Director said right as the elevator doors opened.

"Okay, I think I can stay here for a little while longer", Kim replied, stepping out of the elevator and onto the 7th floor.

"Thank you Kim."

"No big." the hero said, before hanging up.

In a little while, Kim arrived in Shego's room. Inside, there was a machine taking Shego's vital signs, a very pale Shego, and a doctor shaking his head and carefully taking notes. His namepatch read 'Ernie'

"Hey, what are you doing here? No visitors allowed." Ernie said looking at the teenager as though she were trespassing.

"Sorry doctor, can we speak outside?" Kim asked, now a little worried of Shego's condition.

Dr. Ernie sighed before surrendering and agreeing to talk to her after a few more minutes of taking notes. Kim agreed and went outside of the room. Leaning on the wall beside the water tank, she decided to call Ron and see where he was while waiting. So the redhead got her kimmunicator and dialed in her best friend's number. After a few rings, Ron answered.

"Hey Kim!" Ron said.

"Where are you Ron?" Kim asked, curious of the almost familiar yellow and red color scheme in the backround.

"Rufus was hungry, so we stopped by the hospital's cafeteria after talking to your mom. And this is the best hospital cafeteria ever! They have a Bueno Nacho here!" Ron said before biting off a big piece of naco and letting out a 'boo-yah', but his mouth was full so it sounded more like a 'moo-fah'.

_Wait a minute, why are they selling _fast food_ at a _hospital_? Must be some way to increase business... _Kim laughed at the thought

"Shim? Wuf dat?" the blonde said, his mouth still full from the naco. At the same moment, Dr. Ernie came out of the room.

"Oh nothing, hey I gotta go, just chill there and I'll be down in a few, ok?"

"Sure." Ron said with a smile after finally swallowing that huge bite.

The anxious redhead put her kimmunicator away and quickly turned to Dr. Ernie and asked what is possibly the line that doctors hear the most from visitors.

"Is she going to be ok?" Kim said, before Dr. Ernie replied with the line that visitors hear the most from doctors.

"Hopefully." Dr. Ernie said.

"I'm going to ask Dr. Gray, head of the cardio department, for a second opinion on this diagnosis.By the way, what's your name?" he said, trying his best to feign calmness and confidence.

"I'm Kim Possible, nice to meet you." Kim said with a smile, also trying her best to keep her cool.

"Oh, you must be Anne's daughter. I'm Dr. Ball, but you can just call me Ernie." the doctor said as she shook the visitor's hand.

"Why yes I am, so can I go inside and see Shego?" Kim said.

"Okay, but try not to disturb her."

She sat down on the chair next to Shego's bed and examined her. The normally pale green thief was almost paper white with just a hint of greenish tint. Then the redhead was struck again with the thought she had back at her house. Why did Shego try to kill herself? It's not like her life was that bad, she was evil but she regularly went on vacation, enjoyed her job when she was not on vacation, and was probably insanely rich because of all her thefts.

Kim moved a piece of the green woman's black hair from her eyes.

_She's so peaceful when she's sleeping_ _and not trying to fry me_... Kim thought to herself.

Then the door opened, and a white haired man came in along with Dr. Ernie. The new doctor started examining the machine connecting to Shego without giving a moment's notice to Kim. She decided to speak up.

"Uhmm, hello I'm Kim, you must be Dr. Gray." she said.

"Yes, I am. Und I know who you are, Kim, Ernie told me about you. You vant to know condition of zis green woman, yes?" he spoke with a german accent.

"Yes, please." Kim said.

"It looks like she has a very bad heart problem, but ve cannot be sure about it until tomorrow."

"Okay, so I'll drop by tomorrow then? Is that okay?" Kim said, looking at both the doctors.

"Yes, that would be acceptable, she might even be awake then, but now, you muzt leave." Dr. Ernie said as Dr. Gray pulled his notepad out and started taking notes of their patient's condition.

"Sorry doctor, GJ told me to keep watch until their agents arrived."

"UGHH Fine, but you muzt not interfere vith ze taking of ze notes." Dr. Gray said, exasperated, before continuing to analyze his patient.

Kim stayed in the room with the two doctors until 2 GJ agents came into the room.

"Thank you for keeping watch, Miss Possible." one of them said.

"No big." Kim said as she started walking back to the elevator before Dr. Gray could reprimand her again.

* * *

As she exited the elevator, she was greeted by 2 more GJ agents. Then she followed the sound of eating to find her best friend.

Hehe, The Sound of Eating... The redhead thought as she imagined Ron as a nun singing about mexican food.

"Ron, c'mon, our job is done here." Kim said, before sighing as she got a better look. He was still burying in his face in some kind of huge cheese based food product, which was so messed up Kim couldn't even tell what it was anymore.

The sidekick swallowed the rest of his food and gathered his naked mole rat and put it in his cargo pants. "So how's Shego? Is she dead?"

"Nope, she's alive"

"Aw damn!"

"RON!" Kim exclaimed, slightly disgusted and slightly amused at Ron's disappointment, before talking about something else on the way home.

* * *

Doctor Gray smiled. Finally he had a test subject. And if his experiment were succesful, he would be able to save so many lives. He would be a hero, a saint, no... a legend for making it work. The billions of dollars he would recieve for this is also a plus though.

He took the syringe and filled it with his experimental medicine slowly, both to be careful and to make sure he didn't accidentally fill it with air.

And as he pressed it against her skin, he had a fleeting moment of uncertainty, she was _green_ after all, who knows what happened to her DNA. And just as quickly, he rememberd that as tests pointed out, she was still a normal human being, despite her plasma powers and the green skin.

Then the soon-to-be legend injected his serum inside of her.

_Now it is only a matter of time..._

* * *


End file.
